{"id":592,"date":"2005-09-23T19:11:00","date_gmt":"2005-09-23T19:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/2005\/09\/2-stories-55-word-limit-each\/"},"modified":"2005-09-23T19:11:00","modified_gmt":"2005-09-23T19:11:00","slug":"2-stories-55-word-limit-each","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/2005\/09\/2-stories-55-word-limit-each\/","title":{"rendered":"2 stories, 55 word-limit. Each."},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!--more attempt 1, 49  words.--><br \/>\nAN UNFORTUNATE EVENT<\/p>\n<p>They found Mr. Fitzpatrick Glockenspiel next to the Masturbot, his innards splattered around the walls of the Lounge-erotique.<\/p>\n<p>The engineers at Roboperversions Inc. took a week to find out what the problem was. Something wrong with the Masturbot&#8217;s syntax processors, it seems.<\/p>\n<p>Blow me, Fitzpatrick had said. It did.<\/p>\n<p>*******************<\/p>\n<p>UH-OH.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I have laughed at danger and spat at death, youngster&#8221;, the aging detective drawled. &#8220;So don&#8217;t you ask me for no friggin&#8217; discount.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>I signed the cheque silently, and on the way out, he introduced me to the bodyguards. &#8220;This here is Mike Danger, and that&#8217;s Jonathan Death.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I should have haggled a little more. <\/p>\n<p>******************* <\/p>\n<p>Thank you, <a href=\"http:\/\/moccacino.livejournal.com\/\" class=\"lj-user\">moccacino<\/a>. Your turn now.<\/p>\n<p>Anybody else want to try?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=592"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/592\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.beatzo.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}