I think I am the only Star Wars fan on this planet who became a fan without seeing the movies.

I think the first time I read about Star Wars was an article in Target magazine.( Sidebar: Jeez! I just did a Google search for Target , and there were NO entries for the magazine I am talking about. What am I going to tell my children? ) It was an article about SFX. (yeah, that’s an F, not an E) and it showed two figures, one in black and one in a cloak with tubelights in their hands. With weird names like Obi Wan and Darth Vader. Darth Vader sounded cool. And looked cool. ( 20 million other people on this planet think the same way, so what I am saying is technically redundant)

Then this weirdo uncle of mine gave me a book full of Star Wars iron-on transfers, doing two things in the process – (1) One heckuva hiding from my parents for staining the household iron – I forgot to have a piece of paper as a buffer between the iron and the iron-on. (2) The knowledge of nearly all the characters who have appeared in the Star Wars movies.

Very recently, I found out that the iron-on book, issued in the late summer of 1978 was one of the earliest Star Wars merchandise issued. Had I not used up the stickers, I would be sitting on a potential pile of moolah.

Ah, just ignore this. I try to look for speculator-oriented profit in every fandom.

Anyways, the next stage was comics, and Star Wars comics were relatively easy to get. The Telegraph Sunday magazine printed the Al Williamson/Archie Goodwin strips for sometime, and even though the newsprint was cheap and the artwork hazy, I liked them.

I remember trying to see The Empire Strikes Back on a fungus-ridden videotape and giving up after about 10 minutes into the movie. Till date, I have TESB five times. RotJ twice. And SW:ANH just once, and that too, a couple of weeks ago.

I also remember some movie called Return of The Ewoks, which was kindof a kid movie, which I learnt later, was tied in with RotJ.

I remember pronouncing “Jedi” as JD until Priom pointed out it’s J-Die, moron, you better learn.

I still get tired of explaining to newbies that Episode One is not the first movie, dumbkopf, it’s the fourth, and the fourth movie is the first one and the third movie hasn’t been made yet. *sigh*

The best thing Lucas has done, IMHO, is that he’s agreed not to make post-RotJ movies. So basically, no more furry/bumbling critters. And he agreed to license the Universe so that different sci-fi writers could pen new Tales of “a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”. But sooner or later, with the same characters, you are bound to get stuck in a rut. Fine, so the Empire is gone, and there are occasional threats coming back. Like clones of the Emperor, and forgotten Grand Admirals, or the occasional errant planet. Or maybe somebody has a personal bone to pick with one of our heroes. Nothing a couple of blasters and a lightsaber cannot solve. Ta da. Meanwhile, you have Han and Leia married, and with three kids. And Luke is trying to train Force-strong newbies to fully-trained Jedi. And the New Republic is slowly getting rebuilt. Peace and calm.

Shadows of the Empire. Children of the Jedi. The Courtship of Princess Leia. Never got into the X-Wing series, possibly because of my pathological hatred of anything air-based. ( Eg. Microsoft Flight Simulator, Air-based Commando comics, Descent ) Good stuff. But gradually predictable. They are the heroes, after all. They always win. Jedi mindpowers and all. The Force is always with Luke, Han, Leia and Chewie. Parts of it began to resemble the old pulp Tarzan novels. Multiple subplots, two-three groups of people on different missions which lead to grand cliffhangers and finally, a showdown and a satisfying, feel-good conclusion.

Hmm.

Until The New Jedi Order.

The premise is good. 20-25 years after Return of the Jedi. You have the New Republic which is slowly going back to the degenerate political entity of the pre-Empire days, corrupt politicians, deadlocked senates et al. There are dozens of Jedi, almost all from Luke’s Jedi academy, who travel throughout the galaxy on personal missions, with no central command. There be voices of dissent, species that look at the Force cops as well, agents of force. A threat to free will.

At such a time, an alien species named the Yuuzhan Vong attacks the Outer rims of the Galaxy. Frightening critters, the Yuuzhan Vong. Cold, reptilian, with an affinity for biotechnological weaponry ( ships that are living coral-like creatures, living shell-armour on their bodies, weapons that are staffs one moment, snakelike creatures the next). The ships are seemingly resilient to our Lasers and Proton torpedoes, mainly because the Vong use black holes around the ships to absorb the energy. Hmm. Interesting.

Oh, and they are also Force-hidden. That means, a Jedi’s powers are redundant when it comes to the Yuuzhan Vong.

Vector Prime was the first book, and after many longing glances at the shelves in Lifestyle, I decided 258 Rs was too much to spend on a single book. I read the spoiler-laden review instead, and found out that a major character dies.

Cool! Now that showed that Lucasfilm meant business. This wasn’t just a lame-ass attempt to revive a franchise.

Then, of course, the sale at Best happened, and I found out that stocks of New Jedi Order books were a-plenty. Yowsa!

Read Book two of the series, Dark Tide I, Onslaught, and whoo-boy, I am convinced. This series is something I am going to enjoy a lot. Especially if things keep happening at the same pace as in this book. Tall order, I know, but I have faith. When writers are given cliffhangers to handle, they do a good job out of it. And they leave nice, meaty dangling ends for other writers to handle. Anything less, and Boooooooooooooo.

What I liked: On-edge stuff throughout. You never know what the story is leading to. The Yuuzhan Vong are still making forays in Outer rim planets, and they are handling the invasion pretty slowly. I liked the Solo children , Jacen, Jaina and Anakin, and of course, it’s pretty clear it’s these three young Jedi who are going to be the focal point of the series. And they are behaving like normal young people, not whiny brats or anything, but standard insecurities and a desire to come out of the Han-Leia shadow. Luke is becoming exactly what Yoda was, once upon a time ( and Dumbledore is, in the HP series) – the Deus ex Machina for the young’uns. Ok, maybe I am being too harsh here.

The final battle scene ( or “The Massacre” as the Jedi children describe it) is reminiscent of the Two Towers movie, with waves and waves of Yuuzhan Vong slaves attacking the soldiers and refugees. Aaah! I can almost see the hack-slice-chop-fire-kill-kill-kill-thing going on. It shows how clever the Vong can be, silently observing battle tactics from the rear.

What I didn’t like: Leia is too motherly for my taste. The X-Wing part of the show, lots of needless pages about dogfights in the air, which I can mentally relate to the Independence Day plane sequences with lasers going “Tchow! Tchow! Tchow!”

So what next?

Dark Tide II: Ruin. Here I come.