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The Marker Thingie…

…whaddya know – it worked!!! At least the CD gets ripped on a Windows ’98 system.

I seem to be cashing in on the popularity of a celebrity. My apologies to Mr. John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, Mr Peter Jackson and Mr Andrew Serkis. We lovess you all, preciouss, and we are sorry for doing this. Just one of those days, you know.

* * *

Blasphemous.

Nun: You don’t believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?

Loki: No, “Through the Looking Glass”. That poem, “The Walrus and the Carpenter” that’s an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or… or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter’s son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do… what do they do? They… They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don’t know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one’s inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions… by inhibiting our decisions, out of… out of fear of some… some intangible parent figure who… who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says… and says, “Do it–Do it and I’ll fuckin’ spank you.”

Vulgar.

Bethany: Then – I don’t mean to sound ungrateful – but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We’re here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

Pretty Nice at Times.

Bartleby: The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don’t even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He’s shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you… once to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. WHERE WAS HIS INFINITE FUCKING PATIENCE THEN? IT’S NOT RIGHT, IT’S NOT FAIR. We’ve paid our debt. Don’t you think it’s time? Don’t you think its time we went home? and to do that, I think we have to dispatch of our would-be dispatchers.

Satirical.

Serendipity: I’m responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
Bethany: Nineteen?
Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.

Wikkid!

Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
Loki: Well, it’s a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it’s not nearly as impressive. Just doesn’t have that wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this…
Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don’t use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gamorreh, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there’s a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I’m sure.
Loki: Hey you know Fuck you man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass Genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.

Dogma. A Kevin Smith movie. Ahahahahaha.

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ARRRRRR ROWF ROWF

Nassssssssty Sony CD. Nasssssssssty Ayutha Ezhuthu does not play on beatzo’s computer. Nasssssssssty copy protection. Nasssssty thing not works on Linux.

We hatesssssssssss you.

We wants to hear Ayutha Ezhuthu, precioussssssss.

We HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATESSSSSSSSSSSSS YOUUUUUU!!

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Weekend at Vegas

Bangalore, actually.

Did me a load of good. Met a Koshy’s-ful of Lj-friends. Mandatory trips to Landmark, Premier, Blossoms. My first Thermal And A Quarter show ( Courtesy jace) followed by a 3 AM chaiwallah hunt. A Sunday meeting with long-lost friends logorrhoean and someone I refer to as MP, Ponkhi or Ribu, depending on when and where I refer to her. A long , presumably Bangalore-auto-rickshaw-lengthened drive to harish_an‘s apartment, and a crazy trainride back to Hyderabad with a TV in tow. What more could a guy ask for? Lots, actually, but this was enough for a weekend.

You vant Details, Verdammt Schwein?

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A not-so-short presentation of ideas based on a genre

I believe the term preferred is “Post Apocalyptic (Science:optional) Fiction”.

The genre is based on a simple situation – Something bad, a Big Event has happened to Earth as we know it. 99.9% of humanity are dead, or at least, the survivors think that they are 0.1% of the population that is left ( insta-census anyone? ). They have to fend against unknown dangers and a hostile environment. Deal with the after-effects of whatever just happened. Hostility breaking out in the strangest of situations – mostly because they hail from different strata of society, and hence, each would have a distinct mindset about what constitutes a society and what survival has in store for them. And most often – a Big Threat That Looms Large. The climax being how the Big Threat That Looms Large is destroyed, and life comes back to normal – the unknown dangers and the hostile environment being already tamed in the course of the book/movie/series.

I love this particular form of situational fiction. Not just because it pops up from time to time when you least expect it – but because there are an infinite number of possibilities to consider. Different mutations of the scenario, depending on what the scale of the medium is – a short story, a novella, a novel, a movie, a TV series. Look at this way. The writer ( I’ll concentrate on literature, because most of the films I know of this genre are based on books ) has just done away with a lot of humanity. He can concentrate on a very limited number of characters. He can introduce plot twists in every line, having redefined what “danger” is – after all, this is not just a devastated world, this is also a lawless one. On top of it, he is also dealing with the fundamental aspects of society-building. Think of the voyeuristic fun God would have had in the first couple of years after the Great Flood and you get my drift.

Ah, yes. The first of this genre would undoubtedly be the Bible – the Great Flood and Noah’s family being the survivors of the first Holocaust. As a story, that’s a cop-out, because after the Ark comes to rest on Mount Ararat, nothing more is said about Noah’s family, and how they rebuilt the world. Ah,well…..

The first proper work I read, and still the longest, as I remember it, has to be Stephen King’s The Stand. At over a thousand and a half pages, in extremely small print too, The Stand was one whopper of a book. Different interlocking stories, each narrowing down to one epic climax; some extremely well-written characters ( as always), and one scary Villain. King made his book a believable social restructuring and at the same time a spooky showdown between Good and Evil. What I personally enjoyed was the fact that he never gave any explanations about why there were survivors, why it was these particular people who lived through the Super-flu outbreak. Was it something supernatural? Did it have a scientific reason? No one knows, because he does not tell us.

Lucifer’s Hammer by Jerry Pournelle and Larry Nivens was another well-written book of this genre. Here, the reason behind the Big Thing was a Big Bang, brought about by a comet striking the earth, a comet of the name “The Hammer”. ( well, it was originally called Hamner’s comet, after the guy who discovered it, but the name gets mutilated to the more familiar-sounding Hammer by, who else, a newsreader ) As it usually happens with crashing comets, mankind is all but annhilated, and the survivors have to make do in a world devoid of anything called civilization. What do people do when they have no food? They eat other people. What do people do when they are beset by murderous brigands? They form bands, and go on the offensive themselves. The best thing about this book is that it shows people coming together as they would normally do in an alien situation – by status, by culture and by race.

One of the weirdest books I have read in this subcategory is The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham. Humanity – oh sorry, 99.9 percent of humanity – go blind in a single night, ostensibly because of watching a display of celestial fireworks. This wouldn’t be too much of a bad thing, you think, but the trouble runs deeper. You see, biotechnological engineering had created a new plant species called Triffids which initially serve as a lucrative source of oil. Triffids are carnivorous, they have a poisonous sting that can kill a human adult in seconds if they hit an exposed area, and worst of all, Triffids can move. One of the scientists who are working with Triffids makes an ominous comment at the beginning of the book, something like – “If human beings were blind, Triffids would undoubtedly be the next rulers of this planet.” This prophetic condition rendered true, it remains to see whether the scientist’s prediction is correct, and how the survivors manage to hold their own against the Triffids. Best of all, the book ends in a very open-ended way, in a chapter termed “Strategic Withdrawal”. No, it’s not what you think.

One of the best comic-book series in recent times, Y The Last Man, by Brian K Vaughn and Pia Guerra, deals with an earth where, inexplicably and very violently, all y-chromosome bearing mammals – in short – males, die. With the exception of a young escape artist named Yorick and his pet monkey Ampersand. You might wonder if this guy has been singled out just so he had a name that started with Y, which the creators could use – but trust me, this book is good. Every issue leaves you with two simultaneous questions – “What the Hell just happened?” and “Where in the whole wide world is this leading to?”. A lot of sub-questions pop up on the way – you wonder why the sole male survivor has to be this smart-alecky geek, you wonder which woman is going to bed Yorick first, you wonder about who’s good and who’s bad. I was fortunate enough to read 16 issues at one go in a single night, and the remaining four quite recently, again in a night. I eagerly ( and patiently, because I have no choice ) wait for the next instalment.

A movie that inteleaves this genre with popular horror is 28 Days Later. Alex Garland ( The Beach) wrote the script, and he manages to balance the two subcultures pretty well. On one hand, you sympathize with the protagonists, all of them, even the “bad” ones. You are repulsed by the Infected, and yet, on two occasions, you cannot but pity these mindless ( really? ) creatures – the antithesis of the traditional lumbering zombies. It is never made clear throughout the movie about what the Rage virus does to humans, or what the Infected do to humans ( chew their guts, chomp their brains, lust for blood, WHAT? They just keep flailing their hands about and running at glass windows. ) or what the humans are doing, other than the few protagonists we see onscreen. The second half is brilliant, the first half being limited to hauting shots of an empty city ( was that really London? ) Watch the DVD for maximum effect, it has three alternate endings and a director’s commentary that rocks!

Other books of this genre that I have read, and which come to mind at the moment – Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend, which is a neat twist on Survival Theory and vampirism, Philip K Dick’s Dr Bloodmoney, Harlan Ellison – A Boy and His Dog, George R Stewart – Earth Abides. Robert Heinlein’s Farnham’s Freehold and Tunnel in the Sky, the latter of which deals with a motley group of terrans stranded on a remote planet and their struggle to create a society. Again, my prerogative – I included this because it seems like a perfect example of what I was pointing at – a new society being created against insurmountable odds. There is even a Big Threat That Etc here, called Stobors.

A friend tells me Nevil Shute’s On The Beach belongs to the same genre, not read this yet. Someone also pointed out that even The Matrix can be seen as post-apocalyptic sci-fi. I disagree, because The Matrix does not deal with immediate after-effects of the Big Event. Waterworld – maybe, because I have not seen that either, sounds the same as William Brinkley’s The Last Ship. Another unread one is James Morrow’s This is the Way the World Ends.

Anything else that you might suggest?

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