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Endings

Damn! I hate bittersweet endings.

That said, let me add that Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy is an accomplishment that the man deserves to be knighted for. A fantasy series that juggles multiple worlds , and hold on, none of those worlds are your stereotypical humanoid-infested cesspools. A storyline that borders on the blasphemous ( with regards to Christianity), and a gamut of interesting characters, Pullman’s major strength being ( I think I have said this before, with regards to the Sally Lockhart stories) his ability to make his characters meet a final end without prolonging the outcome or making it overly dramatic. Precisely the reason why the reader ( me, in this case) is always on his toes, not knowing what’s going to happen on the next page.

One of the blessings about the series is the lack of hype. This is “essential” fantasy, no doubt ,but hardly storypimped on newspaper articles the way Potter or the Rings trilogy are – you know, plot points and conclusions being thrown at the reader’s face in two-line blurbs. I had not known anything about His Dark Materials, other than the concept of daemons which, frankly speaking, was not too intriguing. So the storyline, as it progressed, was like being on this frying pan that gets hotter and hotter, making you jump and squeal, at different points, with rage, frustration and sheer happiness.

It took me a long time to finish the three books. A conscious attempt on my part not to hurry through. Waited a month after reading Northern Lights ( which is mostly known by the other name The Golden Compass). Took a week to read The Subtle Knife, and it was extremely difficult to postpone reading the third book for more than two weeks. (Note: while prolonging reading pleasure, indulging in other tasteful reading material, such as Feluda stories, immensely helps.) So, after my mom left, I picked up The Amber Spyglass, and last night, it got done. Damn ending. Kept me awake until three AM, staring vacantly at the ceiling.

Will, Lyra, Serrafina Pekkala, Ruta Skudi, Pantalaimon, Iorek, Lee Scoresby, Mary Malone, you too, Mrs Coulter, John Faa, madhav, I love you all.

Now let’s all wait until the sanitised version of the story comes out , courtesy Hollywood. They raped Homer, after all, so who be thee, Mr Pullman, to escape their clutches? Better grin and bear it, when the time comes.

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Charmed, I am sure

The DVD drive works fine, thanks to comments on previous posts and erudite emails with extremely helpful attachments. Thanks, folks, for successfully convincing me not to flash the firmware drive. And the next time your DVD drive gets region-locked, do give me a buzz. Magic Attachments will get sent your way.

Hold on, slight modification to above statement. Sasi’s DVD drive, the one I had with me, works fine now. Mine, however, was still a battle-scarred wreck, fit to play audio cds and naught else, when we reexchanged drives on Saturday morning. “Was” being the keyword. Because I took it to my favourite shop in Park Lane yesterday, the place better known as Hyderabad’s Fish Market That Sells Computers, and ( with a very marked lack of self-righteousness) asked for a replacement, because ( I pointed out ) the warranty period was still on. It wasn’t, of course, the warranty was for eleven months and it had gotten over on 9th July. But because I am a regular customer, and because India is still an exotic land of Miracles, the guy kept the drive for repairs, and handed me a brand new Samsung drive to use for the next seven days. Basically because I promised not to leave any marks on the drive. Maybe also because I paid a deposit without haggling.

Ma left Sunday morning, and after a gap of one and a half months, I found myself in the Abids Sunday market that afternoon. My horoscope in the Times Of Sunday said that I was going to spend money, loads of it, and this was the safest way I could help fulfill that. (Not that I read horoscopes, you understand, senor? Eet ees being very near to Beetle Bailey on Sunday Times, capisce?)

The Loot:
1) Little Lord Fauntleroy by Frances Hodgeson Burnett. A neat little hardcover of the book, beautifully illustrated with small black and white sketches and colour plates. I am a sucker for colour plates of drawings in children’s books. I am also a big fan of Frances Hodgeson Burnett.

2) The Complete Short fiction of Ruskin Bond. A Penguin publication worth Rs 395 in first-hand, and was being offered at half-price at the Best Book Stall outlet. Could not let this go by.

3) Shanks Mare: Japan’s Great Comic Novel of Travel and Ribaldry by Ikku Jipensha. Truth be told, I had never heard of this book. Saw this lying around, and flipped through a couple of pages, and whaddya know – the book is funny. And the price was just 30 rupees.

4) Prentice Alvin by Orson Scott Card. This is Book 3 of the Alvin Maker series – a fantasy series set in an Alternate America of the nineteenth century, and contentedbloke, my wholehearted recommendation to you. I have read book One, still holding out on book two even though the eBook lies on my disk. Some books are meant to be enjoyed live, without bothering about the intricacies of the Page-Down key.

5) The City and The Stars by Arthur C Clarke. The Fantasy Masterworks edition of the book, which was available for very cheap. I will probably not read it too soon, though the reviews speak very highly about it.

6) Hammer of The Gods: A Biography of Led Zeppelin by Stephen Davis. I had borrowed this book from a friend, and read it once upon a time, but hadn’t found it anywhere. A near-perfect guide to Led Zeppelin, the band and its mystique.

And yesternight, braving the onslaught of an up-and-coming cold (and a small imp that was playing the teentaal behind my ears), revelling in the power of a new Samsung DVD drive, soundly cracked by AnyDVD’s region-free protection, I had the time of my life. I watched Zatoichi.

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A somewhat non-tasty soup

That’s what I seem to be in.

Ignore the fact that my ma’s in town, forget for a while that it’s been quite sometime since I last updated, disregard my newly-found enthusiasm for anything to do with Pradosh C Mitter, Lalmohan Ganguli and Topshe. This be thick hot soup, massah, and I be trying to swimming without swallowing too much. Ignore all grammatical licenses too.

Now, then, the ingredients:

1) A nice little site called cd-wow.com, which ships DVDs and CDs worldwide, with NO SHIPPING CHARGES.

2) A computer, ten months old, running Windows 98 (This is the part half of you will grimace in disgust and spit on the ground and say “By the Hoary Hosts of L’Naksh, there lies the foul problem!” )

3) A PSony DVD Drive, preferably pborrowed pfrom psome pfriend.

4) Power DVD XP4, cracked beyond recognition.

5) WinDVD Platinum 5, Ditto.

Instructions:
Go to site, click on Bargain Basement, order three DVDs. Pretend you are Omniscient, scoff at all warning labels, and ask for Takeshi Kitano’s Zatoichi, Akira Kurosawa’s Ran, and Rob Reiner’s This is Spinal Tap!.

Simmer for five days.

On the fifth day, God created animals, and fish and birds and snakes…oh, sorry, wrong line. On the fifth day, accept all three DVDs in the mail, and proceed to next step.

Try not to dance on the way.

Now then, rub hands and gloat. Insert first DVD in DVD drive. Make sure the first one is Zatoichi.

Read the message that comes up. The message should, in optimal conditions, say “You have three chances left before your counter is set. Current counter is Region 3. Are you sure?” (This part is important) Be sure. Be confident in the powers of Power DVD Tweaker Pro and click “yes”. Watch DVD for unspecified period of time. Insert second DVD. Make sure it is This is Spinal Tap.

Repeat above Step until counter becomes 0.

Take deep breath, and laugh in the (figurative) face of Stupid DVD-player makers who think of thwarting Happy Moviegoers.

Uninstall PowerDVD, run Regedit, and remove all traces of entries. Restart. Reinstall. Watch happy message when you insert DVD. Uninstall. Install WinDVD. Crack. Insert DVD. Watch happy message again. Ignore sinking feeling in tummy. Install Win2000, reinstall drivers, reinstall player. insert DVD, read Happy Message.

Soup’s served!

* * *

Ok, so right now my DVD drive ( or rather, the DVD drive I had *cough* borrowed) plays only Region 2 DVDs. Which is not much help because I have only one Region 2 DVD to watch. So I need to do some serious shit to get it region-free.

A little searching shows that a firmware flash/crack might be required, and detailed instructions for how to do so for the Sony DDU-1621 are given right here. The only thing is, this is a firmware flash guide for Firmware version 1.x, while the version I am using is version 3.5. The patch up there says it’s not tested. So, ahem, do I go ahead with this? Or does anyone know of any software ( other than the $39 priced kinds) that can reset the region-code for a DVD?

Help!

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Mere Ko Gussa Kyon Aata Hai

Loosely translated, what makes me angry?

Pavitr Prabhakar, for one.

Right then, for those who have been yet unbombarded by a certain press release from this Indian company called Gotham comics ( would you believe I got twelve offline messages with the same link plastered all over it? ), Pavitr Prabhakar happens to be the Indian version of Spiderman. The name is a play on Peter Parker ( snicker, snicker, get it, all those people who have been thinking up names like Maikalal Jaikishen and Hari Puttar? Your brand of humour is being appreciated! ), and the press release says that he has been blessed with his powers by a sadhu, and he “leaps around rickshaws and scooters in Indian streets, while swinging from monuments such as the Gateway of India and the Taj Mahal”. He fights rakshasas. And he wears a dhoti and something that resembles your average Rajasthani jooti. There are stylish pinups scattered throughout the page, drawn by one Mr Jeevan J Kang, India’s “superstar artist”.

Are you laughing yet?

This is sick. Fine, so you can tell me things like “reinvention” (Marvel comics-“Gotham is helping us to expand the Marvel brand with a truly global vision.”) and “transcreation” ( “Unlike traditional translations of American comics, Spider-Man India will become the first-ever ‘transcreation” – Sharad Devarajan, CEO, Gotham comics) I do realize I don’t have the right to form an opinion against something that hasn’t been released yet. Frankly speaking, I would give everything a chance, even the Halle Berry Catwoman movie, beyond redemption though it may be. But certain things irk me. Certain things piss me off BIG time. Bad ideas are one. Plagiarisation is another. Needless Hype even more so.

I think I have reached the end of my tether, as far as Mr Jeevan “The Genius” Kang ( that’s how his name is being touted on the pages of Gotham comics, by the way), and Gotham Comics’ atrocious new idea is concerned.

You know what? The only bit of artwork that Jeevan Kang has been doing on all those cool pinups is the dhoti. He’s blatantly plagiarising artists like Alex Ross and Mark Bagley. Take a look at this piece of art, from the Gotham website and this one one, drawn by Alex Ross for the Spiderman movie. Exactly the same, except with a little digital brush-up and the dhoti, that too drawn by someone who has very little knowledge of perspective. The others are pretty familiar , most of them look like Mark Bagley’s covers for Ultimate Spider-Man. And with whatever knowledge of comics I have, let me say this – anybody can draw pinups. Any one can get away with drawing folded legs and a swingy pose. But that’s not what a comic-book is. It’s a combination of a coherent, sensible storyline that’s driven by pictures. A sensible storyline comes out of well-formed ideas. The kind of hype that’s being formed around Pavitr Prabhakar has nothing to do with good ideas, trust me on that.

So it’s about a kid who’s got superpowers. Never mind the fact that his “origin” is the hackniest type of origin-stories ever. Does anyone realise that every Indian mythological TV series/horror show has the protagonist getting powers from a saint or a mystic? Think of ANY of those eighties B-films or Sunday serials involving kids with powers and you have a yogi somewhere bestowing boons on youngsters who have earnest expressions on their faces. Our storytellers and scriptwriters have nothing else to think about when they want mystical powers. That’s what happens when you don’t read comics, morons. Digression: Do you also notice that every horror movie has to end in some kind of a mystical fakir or baba or bibi who comes and shoves a trident into whatever’s-causing-the-supernatural-brouahaha. (no, not the director) Or failing that, makes the hero shove a trident into etc etc. Screenwriters in India have this Exorcist fixation, I tell you.

There have been reinterpretations of Peter Parker before. You had Ultimate Spiderman where Brian Bendis retold the 60’s story in the 90’s, making Peter Parker a young, geeky teenager in the contemporary world. There was a manga-fied version of the Spiderman myth, called Rise of The Spider-Clan which modified the storyline to one involving Japanese Ninja Clans. But none of these went and made punny changes to names and settings. Uncle Ben will become Bhanu Chacha and Mary Jane will be Meera Jain, I suppose? Gah! Why couldn’t Gotham comics come up with a superhero of their own? Why capitalise on an American myth to come up with an Indian one? Are we that starved of ideas?

This is India-pimping of the worst kind.

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