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A Love Polygon, with diagonals.


Girl loves guy. Girl knows guy won’t give a hoot for her feelings. Girl becomes tortured lover.
Guy teases another guy about having deep feelings for Girl.

Umm, wait, this is getting confusing. Let me start out by giving my own names to the characters involved. Just remember, all of this is true, and it really happened.

Kareena loves Akshay. Akshay couldn’t care less for what Kareena feels. (He’s a c00l d00d.) Kareena is tortured by thoughts for Akshay day in and out.

Akshay and the others in “the gang” teases Suneil about having deep feelings for Kareina. No-one knows what Suneil thinks, though.

Two guys named Abhishek and Hrithik fall for Kareena. Abhishek goes to town swearing undying love for you-know-who. Hrithik decides to bide his time.

Kareena’s best friends Amisha and Preity are the only person who know her secret feelings. Unbeknownst to all, Amisha herself has deep (cough cough) feelings for Akshay.

Preity has deep (cough cough cough) feelings for Hrithik. She decides to get closer to him through a close friend of his, named Johnny Mnemonic.

Preity and Johnny (nice ring to it, eh?) get close, and both of them end up telling deep ( insert four coughs here) secrets to each other. One of them happens to be that Kareena loves Akshay.

Johnny, like I said, is close to Hrithik. He happens to mention to the latter that Kareena has deep( ignore! ignore! ignore!) feelings for some guy in the class. Hrithik informs all people concerned (plus a lot more) about this latest revelation. A lot of phone-calls later, Johnny spills the beans to Hrithik. But only after H has promised Johnny that he’s not the least bit interested in K; he has deep feelings for Amisha.

Preity realises, with horror, tat her plan has backfired! Hrithik is no longer hers, he belongs heart and soul to Amisha. At least that’s what Johnny tells her. “Thou be good-for-nothing rascapallion”, she informs Johnny. “I bid thee adieu.”

Johnny also has this grand idea of getting all those deep-feelingwallahs together. In Rome, they call this kind of an idea “playing Cupid”. In India, they don’t call it “playing Kama”. They call it “getting yourself in deep shit”. Johnny liked to pretend he was a Roman, and so….

Johnny goes and informs Amisha about Hrithik’s starry-eyed and , yeah, deep, feelings for her. Amisha is flattered. Hrithik and Amisha start hanging around together. They are officially hooked up.

Now, Abhishek ( remember? ) has the bright idea of unburdening his deep feelings to Kareena. He proceeds to do so, and of course, a two-letter word that starts with ‘N’ and ends with ‘O’ comes floating his way. In caps and bold.

Kareena is worried. She has broken a heart. She understands what pain is. She ( with Amisha in tow, for moral support ) comes to Johnny ( a guy who plays Cupid and hence, has a record of being the kind-of-guy who would interfere in others’ affairs ) and asks for moral deliverance.

Abhishek decides ( on the basis of the same record as stated above ) that Johnny would be the right guy to handle his sorrowful state of affairs. Johnny manages to stammer a few words of encouragement (“duh, duh, duh”) and proceeds to shoot himself. Well, not exactly.

Preity decides to go around town declaring that Hrithik is …well….something unmentionable. Kareena declares a state of mourning, and avoids civilized life altogether. Akshay carries on teasing Suneil about Kareena, though nobody cares anymore. Maybe Suneil does, but he doesn’t seem to care. Abhishek generally mopes around

Four years later……..

Amisha and Kareena are no longer friends. That’s because (a) Amisha has found a better guy than Hrithik. She met this incredible hunk on a train and he swept her away. (b) Kareena realised that she was actually not in love with Akshay, but with Hrithik instead. Hence she moved in for the kill, right after Amisha.
Hrithik in turn declared that he had deep feelings for Kareena since the time he met her, and well, Amisha was out of his life, and that was that.

Johnny Mnemonic has taken on the identity of a vainglorious bounty hunter named beatzo, who at various intervals of time, looks back at a previous life with wonder, disdain, and a lot of laughter. He doesn’t know and he doesn’t care what happened to the rest of the story.

The moral of the whole shebang: When beatzo doesn’t have work, he should stay away from Livejournal.

Doesn’t make any sense, I know.

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11 thoughts on “A Love Polygon, with diagonals.

  1. *finishes reading, and puts away popcorn*

    Ahahaha, thank you for actually writing this! ^__^

    Very amusing. XD You should script it, and direct a film … ^___^

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