When it was first introduced in France, towards the late 1700’s, the guillotine was called the most humane form of execution known to mankind. Before this instrument was invented (?), the accepted methods of execution in France was by hanging ( for commoners) and state beheadings( mostly nobility), carried out by an executioner with an axe or sword. Both these, Monsieur Joseph Guillotin argued on behalf of his brainchild, were methods marked with a distinct lack of sportsmanship ( the English coined that word – ‘sportsmanship’, but like most other English things, including EnglishAlan Moore, and James Bond, sportsmanship was accepted by every other nation in the world ) – for instance, a State Executioner, who has not recovered from the previous night’s escapade at Monsieur B___’s tavern, could easily miss hitting the correct spot between the skull and the shoulder the first time, the second time, and worst of all, he might even hit the incorrect spot on the incorrect head on the third try.
“Simple”, said Monsieur Guillotin. “Presenting my contraption – it is 2.3 metres high, weighs 580 kilograms (though it can be made to weigh heavier or lighter, depending on your specifications ), comes equipped with a 40 kilogram( ditto) blade that is guaranteed to slice of the correct head at the correct spot with minimal fuss ( the guarantee is based on the assumption that executions happen in the morning, when the blade is sharp and shiny, and not later in the day). It does not require the presence of a musclebound oaf in the immediate vicinity. And oh, yes, the most important part – it assures one of immediate death.”
That’s not quite what M Guillotin said when he was talking to the King. In all probability, the old gentlemen must have stammered and hemmed quite a lot, having not had any access to a B-School of repute, or any of the gentlemen who come from the Fyne Fylde Of Myrketinge. But he got his point across, and within a decade, the King of France was so convinced by the results of M Guillotin’s fine invention that he reportedly pranced up the steps of Madame Guillotin, and hummed Auld Lang Syne to himself in his final moments ( Scotch always does that to you, others whispered).
Sorry, bad joke.
An estimated forty thousand people died in public executions under the blade of the Guillotine in Paris during the Frenzy – the period immediately following the French Revolution.
What brings this bloody part of history to mind right now is this. There must have been a fixed set of executioners at work on each of these machines during that time. Each of them charged with the act of leading the doomed noblemen to their knees, binding their hands to the sides of the wooden block, and placing the neck on the correct spot. Then the rope holding the blade would be let go, at the appropriate moment, and 1/70th of a second later, a newly cut head would join the pile of half-rotten heads before the guillotine. ( I am not precisely aware of specifics here, but I think the heads were piled in baskets and taken away in bulk later. I am not aware of what were done to the bodies)
Right.
If you were an executioner doing your job, wouldn’t you, even once, think of exactly how the man or woman you just put to death felt in those final moments? Would you imagine, in those nights when you can’t fall asleep, your own reactions to being placed under the blade, the excruciating moment when you hear the rope being sliced behind you? Like that squirmy feeling on your back that you cannot quite reach with your hand and scratch away? Would you, some night, in a moment of weakness, go to your place of work, when there is no one around, and gingerly kneel in front of it, and pretend you’re about to die? Would you put your head on the bloodstained ( and in all likelihood, foul-smelling) block and close your eyes and, for an instant, revel in the last breath of air that you are about to inhale?
What if someone, at that precise instant, sneaked up behind you and screamed – “Boo”?
Do this ~
Take off your clothes and go running about, shouting “Kill, Kill, Kill..” at the top of your voice till the nice men in White coates come to take you away.
Pervert!
Don’t you have things to do – other than trying to see me in the buff?
Amusing.
The fact that you think I want to look at that ugly sight.
from the innocuous piece about comic book ethics to the mighty guillotine.. saar, u never cease to amaze *applause*
p.s: u interested in serial killers?
p.s 2 : thinkin abt Master Of the Flying Guillotine kya ??
n oh, just saw a clip of some Bulgarian hostage being beheaded by Iraqi militants.. the feeling in my stomach now is indescribable..
if i were the executioner, i’d rather not think about my job at all..
excuse the “p.s” thing mastaah..
A Japanese answer!
*Brushshu* ( I have been watching Japanese stuff, so that’s the proper way to pronounce Blush)
APS: Hai!
APS2: Hungh! ( which is kind of a grunt in a hoarse voice, used to indicate displeasure and negativity)
totototototototo…. ( a sympathetic cluck, showing my pain at your distress, or my distress at your pain, whichever’s applicable)
Now….
Tsii!!!! ( scram!)
… This goes to Memories.
Remember the ad?
(atrocious accent)
“Memory? What memory, man?”
Maggi Hot and Sweet Tomato Chilli Sauce. It’s different.
Is this the quiz you were talking about?
Oops.
Should I have posted this to quizbusters?
You must read Shashi Warrier’s ‘Hangman’s Journal’.
I shall look for it. Can you tell me more about it? Or point to a linked review somewhere?
This is definitely one of the better posts in a long long time.
Bravo!
Treat treat!
Fick ip.
Gruw ip.
Fuu…
Jist fur tha racurds, thes wos fickeng guud.
oaeui
I am not precisely aware of specifics here, but I think the heads were piled in baskets and taken away in bulk later. I am not aware of what was done to the body
I don’t care what anybody says, things have definetly gotten better.
Yeah. No chances of being distracted by a public execution in the Neighbourhood Supermarket. And of course, you don’t find heads in baskets anymore.
Basket cases.
You. ROCK. :)) :)) :))
Thanks. :)
Best Post. A ennis touch. No wait, a compliment — Lapham touch.
Daaaaamn. A below-the-belt anti-Ennis commment, yet again.
Preacher. Preacher. Preacher. Read. Preacher. Preacher! Now!!!!!
Nice post. :-)
Thank you. :D
:-O Scary (dream)!
Scary French Revolution! :)
A very nice post! :) Do you really want a serious answer to your question??
A serious answer would be good.
Personally, I think children would be the first to try out something like this. Mostly as pretend-executions while playing.
Children playing “I’ll chop off your head if you chop of mine”? That out to catch the interest of the behavioural psychologists! :)
Ok.. here’s my answer…
People who prepare the electric chair do a routine “dry-run” before every execution – if you’ve read the Green Mile, you know what I am talking about. And same with the lethal injection, which is replacing the electric chair as the most humane mode of execution. Things are simpler in India, where hanging is the only option – nothing much to prepare there except check if the rope is tight and can handle the weight.
Btw, the extent we go towards deluding ourselves on our “humaneness” sometimes boders on the ridiculous – like cleaning the injection area with disinfectant before pumping the condemned man with a nice lethal cocktail of sodium pentathol, pancuronium bromide, and potassium chloride. And while executions are telecast on closed circuit TV, there is an ongoing debate in the US to publicise executions to increase the “deterrent” factor.
Won’t that make reality television viewers really happy?
What you’re referring to – dry run and all – is merely procedure. The people in charge have to do it even though they don’t want to. What I was talking about is the natural ( at least, it seems natural to me!) tendency of human beings to “experience” things. The same kind of tendency which would induce a kid to start smoking his father’s cigarette stub or take a gun left lying around and go “boom boom” in his mind. The same feeling, I think, would apply to a man who’s been at such close quarters with death, to experience the feelings of others. Is this empathy, or simple curiousity, for that matter?
And of course, absolutely agree with the humaneness farce.
Hypothetical case: They poke the needle in the guy, they haven’t injected yet (in the modern systems, there’s three buttons to be pressed I think), and just then the pardon comes in from the governor’s office. Now if it wasn’t cleaned and sterilised, well then, the guy could get an infection, right?
You should change your career and become a writer!!
Was it really that bad a Random Question? ;-)
you seem to have done a lot of research on the subject!!
It does not require the presence of a musclebound oaf in the immediate vicinity. – LOL! :))
If you were an executioner doing your job, wouldn’t you, even once, think of exactly how the man or woman you just put to death felt in those final moments?
– I believe I would… But i’m not too sure about those hooded executioners.
What if someone, at that precise instant, sneaked up behind you and screamed – “Boo”?
– I think i’ll die of fright. :|
That last paragraph was excellent! :D
I think i’ll die of fright. :|
With or without messing your pants ( or breeches, or longjohns, whatever they wore back in those days) ? :-P
I don’t think i’ll have the time to think about messing up my pants/breeches/long-johns/chaddi’s…. Honestly man. :|
What if someone, at that precise instant, sneaked up behind you and screamed – “Boo”?
You’d do it, wouldn’t you? You’re a right bastard, the kind of guy that would go “boo” at some poor unsuspecting soul. I know. Admit it. Go on. You would.
Aaaaaaaaaaand, ladies and gentlemen, presenting,, the only Guy Who Got The Whole Point of The Post.
When it was first introduced in France…1700’s…axe…sword.
YOu speak about axe 1700’s, i prefer axe, 2040’s :-“
Hushhhhh!
am I the only one who really enjoyed the ‘bad joke’?
Truth be told, I enjoyed telling it, though there was this bad guilty feeling just after I did. :)
This one, infact was good.
Short and good.