As part of my one-and-a-half-movie per day binge, I saw Ju-On and Ju-On 2 last week.
Takeshi Shimuzu made Ju-On as a low-budget, TV movie. Then he made the sequel. Somebody decided that the TV movies had immense potential, and gave him a cartload of money which he used to make Ju-On: The Grudge and Ju-On 2: The Final Grudge, which were remakes of the first two movies. And then someone from across the ocean ( Sam Raimi to be precise) saw the Japanese movies and gave Mr Shimuzu twenty cartloads of money and a busty babe ( Sarah Michelle Gellar) and the director decided to do what he does best – he made his own movie again. Man, this guy sure likes his job.
But that’s beside the point. As I was saying, I watched Ju-On and Ju-On 2, which were actually the third and fourth movies ( see above). I watched it the way horror movies are meant to be watched, at night, with the lights switched off, and I would have seen it alone had it not been for my movie-loving colleague (prashantr )who insisted we see it together. “Damn”, I thought, just before we began, “I hope I enjoy this.” This was because some fine Factory-going folks had liked the idea of an eerie-looking kid staring at the camera with his legs curled up to his chin, and had proceeded to make everyone in a fine Factory-produced movie look eerie and stare at the camera. (Vaastu Shastra, for the uninitiated)
Half an hour into Ju-On, I was glad I wasn’t watching it alone. I was also shit-scared.
The way I tackle a horror movie is this – whenever there is no background music to be heard, it means someone’s behind the camera and the pretty young thing/thang is going to have his guts chomped out. Whenever there’s scary music coming by, it implies that there is a cat making that scary sound the PYT is trying to find out more about,and the music is playing you for a sucker. Whenever there is gore/blood/angst, you just think of the make-up man who’s worked hard to get the product you’re seeing on screen. You think of the director who’s probably grinning in the chair, thinking of the moolah his scary movie will make. You think of what probably happens once the shot is over, the protagonists sharing a cup of coffee and a good laugh about the scare-shots of the day. And most of the time, everything’s dark and hazy, and you know the real scary part is going to come at the end of the movie, when ( if you’re lucky enough, and the crew has a good team on prosthetics and make-up ) you come to the Big Scare, the orgasmic moment you’ve been waiting for.
With Ju-On, I was caught a little..off-guard.
I know there is a scary-looking kid involved. I know it’s about a curse. But man-o-man-o-man, I was not prepared for this. The opening sequence, shot in grainy filters. The non-linear story. What happens to you when you try hiding under a blanket. How creepy the sight of a silent old woman can be. The effectiveness of a no-holds-barred scream. (it’s tough to find an actress who screams out loud without you silently urging her to die quicker and scream a little less) The sheer effectiveness of minimal music, or no music at all. Methinks Amar Mohile and the rest of the noisy synth-mongers in the Indian Horror Movie scene can learn much from Ju-On.
When the movie was over, we decided to watch a little bit of Caligula, to get over the freaked-outness. The movie didn’t really gel, not even the sight of Roman nymphets in innovative positions and the brother-sister romp in the woods. Off to bed we went.
The next night, there was a decision to be taken. Do we go ahead and watch a sequel, which, going by the law of averages, would be trashier than the original, and far less scarier, thereby nullifying the nice memories of the previous night? Or do we go for the safer Big Fish? Or something more sedate, like American Chai? “The heck with it, let’s watch Ju-On 2”, was the decision. Fifteen minutes into the movie, we nearly gave up – the knot in my tummy was actually unravelling to that semi-annoying, semi-bored state which says – “oh get it over with already” – because the buildup was a little more convoluted this time.
Well, the movie turned out to be scarier than the first one. And weirder. Gave a whole new meaning to the concept of parallel storylines. It was really two things happening to the same two persons at the same time.
Right. The movie ends. We say – “Another movie.” I go to the DVD player and take the DVD out. Cover in one hand, disc in the other. I sneak a peek at the cover, at the kid with the eerie stare, and blink, allowing the goosepimples to subside.
Powercut.
I am not really proud of my jittery reactions that night. It was dark, and we didn’t have a candle, and as we sat in the darkness with our cellphones clutched in our hands ( with their reassuring glow), we talked about things too asinine to mention here, to take our minds off the movie. Weird sounds, magnified a hundredfold because of The Ju-On Effect came floating from the kitchen. (Prashant: “The rats are really acting up tonight”. Nervous giggle. Me: “Yeah.” Gulp. “They sound a little..different.” ) There was a skitter, just like the way the dead girl made when she slid down the stairs. A thump, like that of the girl and her boyfriend who ended up swinging in the living room. Finally, as a dish crashed to the ground – we could take it no longer, and went out for a walk in the garden, where it was considerably brighter than in our living room, and yakked a bit until a grumpy lady from the flat above shouted at us.
I did manage to fall asleep, and there were no nightmares, and we laughed over it the next day. But you know what – we were really scared that night.
Ringu didn’t affect me a lot, maybe because I had seen the English version before the Japanese, and was prepared for the story and its twists ( the shock-effects in the US version were predictable, except for the flash of the dead girl with a horrified expression in the cupboard) Ju-On did. My record as unscaring movie-goer is thus laid to rest. How’s that for a confession?
For starters… Sarah Michelle Gellar is the exact opposite of a “busty babe.” She’s as flat as they come. Gymnast syndrome and all that.
Anyway! I have not seen the originals (either take on them) and alas, as such, I fear that my experience with them has likely been tainted by the experience of seeing the Americanized remake of The Grudge, which kinda… sucked. At least for me personally. I realize it was a huge hit.
The American version of Ringu screwed up the Japanese version for me. So I can understand.
Umm, I haven’t really been keeping up with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s vital statistics – but in the last SMG movie I saw ( ‘Cruel intentions’) and the photographs that I keep coming across…she looks pretty busty to me. Heh.
hee hee!! I once remember watching something on Discovery about some chap in the 13th century confessing to have met the devil.. and later that night was to scared to get up from bed and look around lest the devil himself be there… so there, you’re relatively hard to scare….
I *thought* I was relatively harder to scare, but obviously, I underestimated those Japanese guys.
Don’t be too scared of the devil, it seems the guy takes on a very attractive form when he sees humans – all the better to bargain souls with. ;-)
Don’t be too scared of the devil, it seems the guy takes on a very attractive form when he sees humans
Hmmm.. such devils can be all too real you know.
Super review – makes me want to watch Ju-on this weekend! :)
Btw, if you liked “Crouching Tiger…” and you haven’t yet seen “Hero” (starring Jet Li), you’re missing something…
And I’m waiting eagerly for “House of Flying Daggers” by the same director (Zhang Yimou), which is supposed to be the most beautiful martial arts movie ever!
Saw Hero couple of months ago, boss. ;-)
Hope to get House of Flying Daggers from Vasu on New Year, he seems to have “acquired” it from somewhere.
beatzo!! You’re alive and well!..
Yes ma’am!
Ahahahahahaha, what a chicken!
I wasn’t as scared while watching Ju-on: The grudge but Darkwater properly creeped me out. Minimum charaters, minimal music, minimal lighting, scary performances brrrrrrr. Have you seen it yet?
Haven’t seen Dark Water, nosirree.
You probably watched a watered-down, censored version of Ju-On. HBO, wasn’t it? hyuk.
Welcome Back
Hey brother,
nice to have you back.
Re: Welcome Back
And how have you been?
Ju-On was fantastic, haven’t seen Ju-On 2. But I had the misfortune of catching The Grudge(with the aforementioned busty babe). I t really does suck.
Anyhoo, have you seen The Eye? There’s a DVD I’ve been ‘eye’ing, but I’m not sure if its worth 200 green ones.
Boss, PLEASE buy a copy of The Eye for me, I promise I will get 200 rs to you. Somehow.
The Eye will also kill you. :D
sure, brother… though I am kinda unreliable when it comes to shipping shiz, I will get a copy of the eye and send it to you… in Jan though. Kinda strapped for cash right now, and when I go to the DVD market, one thing leads to another…
Don’t worry about the 200 INR though, just send me a copy of Ju On, wot?
I borrowed‘s DVD, looking for one myself, or will make a copy whenever I buy the DVD writer – whichever comes first. :)
Watch Ju On, Acacia, Dark Water, A Tale of two sister and you are official scar{r}ed for life :P
Trust me, I know! :S
But Ju On ended on a pretty lame note…
I have been hearing raves about A Tale of Two Sisters. Dark Water is high on my buy-as-soon-as-I-get List.
A Hard Day’s night
I have been working like a dog… which, if you observe a dog, means:
1. I havent been working
2. Aimlessly wandering
3. Being generally content with life
And apart from that, I have been reading. I tried to call you up one day, but I think you were watchihng some movie. I am leaving for Chennai on 25th. That’s all…
Re: A Hard Day’s night
AND, it means he’s been shagging indisriminately! *shuts up*
im gettin the vcd of Ju-On from Mark n watchin it all by myself..
God help me!
Hmm. Make sure it’s the Japanese version and not the US remake, which supposedly sucks bigtime.
yep, it IS the Jap version :-) will get it sometime this weekend or the next..
IMHO, the silent old woman provided comic relief.
*sigh*
hey! ya know your review is so good, i feel like watching it!
Beatzo.. i dun say it often enough.. dun.stop.writing.ever.
Thanks! :-D
Watch it, but let me warn you – Jay watched it on my recommendation, and he thinks it was a comedy. *sigh*