In which beatzo, for lack of anything better to do, answers twenty questions to himself…
What can possibly top a perfect weekend?
Ans: A perfect Monday. 50 new comics and a semi-new computer.
Who are the perpetrators?
Ans: The comics, courtesy 2fargon, who sent me a shipment of oh-god-they-are-mindblowing comics. Frank Miller’s Sin City:The Babe Wore Red, and Sin City: The Big Fat Kill. Thirty one issues of Garth Ennis’ Hitman. Batman/Spawn and Spawn/Batman. ( something I have been waiting to read since 1994 ) The computer courtesy my juniors Sam ( who sold me his machine ) and Vandi who undertook the mindbogglingly complex task of smuggling it out of the NIT Warangal premises and delivering it to moi. TA plus shipping/handling charges for the aforementioned task borne by you-know-who.
Sub-question: Define “smuggling it out”.
Ans: According to the Hallowed Taskmasters of our fair Institution, a student owning a computer has to pay an annual amount of Rs 500 to register his/her PC with the college authorities. The exact reasons behind this rule is not known. What is known, though, is that – (a) inspite of the rule being added, computers keep getting stolen from the College branch offices. (b) Getting a gate-pass for one’s pass involves a long and complicated process which can be summed up in three words – “redefining red tape”.
How do you top a perfect Monday?
Ans: Bunk office on Tuesday. Stay and read comics. Discover midway that the headache that started off as a mild annoyance has taken on epic proportions….chill out and spend the rest of the day in bed.
What do you do when you’re lying in bed?
Ans: Read. (screw the headache) Listen to ARR, The Grateful Dead, Hootie and the Blowfish, My Dying Bride, Type O Negative. (screw the headache) Lather, rinse, repeat. (screw the headache) Play half-Life all over again from the beginning. (screw the headache)
So what happens next?
Ans: The headache screws me.
How about Wednesday?
Ans: I can’t open my eyes without wincing. I can’t move my freakin legs without my back aching. I can’t move my freakin hands without my back aching. I can’t move my freakin ears…waitaminit, I can’t move my ears anyway. Always wished I could. Anyway, I decide not to move.
I wasn’t asking about your freakin body goddamnit. I was asking you about Wednesday.
Ans: Yeah, I watched (or rather, listened to ) Vandi burning 100 cds at a go. Tried hard not to laugh at the agonizing sight of him deciding which ones to write and which ones to skip.
The speed of the cd-writer?
Ans: 48X write speed. 16-X rewrite speed. Amit’s writer. *Sighhhhhhhhhh!*
You had a freakin 48X cd-writer in your house and you slept the whole time????
Ans: Ummm, not exactly. Felt much better by afternoon, went to Psasi‘s place and swipped whatever cds I had to write. Marathon-Mega-Friggodelastic-Burn session followed!!!!
The poor guy! I heard you made him miss a meeting….how can you be so mean???
Ans: Ummmm…practice.
How about the induction thingie you were telling me about?
Ans: Eh heh heh heh. Shhhh, it’s a secret. Both Vasu and Psasi have been made honorary members of the Frank Miller Admiration Society. Haven’t told them about the admission fees though.
Any confessions to make?
Ans: Yeah, I think I am becoming an click-refresh-on-lj-friends-page-junkie. I think I am starting to enjoy cleaning up my room and trashing it the same night. I know I am spending too much money on things, just because there is a 20% discount tag attached to them.
Define “things”.
Ans: The usual. No Doubt’s Tragic Kingdom and Safri Duo’s Episode II being two prime examples. Also Mike Oldfield’s Guitars.
Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA!!!!! Oink oink.
Anything strange you did?
Ans: Woke up early, real early on a holiday! Sat down in front of the computer and watched a movie!!!!! Then sat down in front of the computer and watched another movie. Had three square meals everyday throughout the week.
Hmmm, what about work?
Excuse me, I think I smell something burning.
No, seriously.
Ans: Welllllll, I completed whatever I was supposed to do, but four days late. NObody’s complaining though. Seems the build failed anyway. (chuckle chuckle)
What’s the moral of the whole shebang???
Ans: Hey, wait, twenty questions over. I get to ask you a question now….
Yeah, ok….
Wanna play some Unreal?
Eh heh heh heh
Moral: Playing Unreal is preferable to answering questions about morals.
Haven’t told them about the admission fees though.
Fees… I am cancelling my subscription.
Sat down in front of the computer and watched a movie!!!!! Then sat down in front of the computer and watched another movie
Watched two movies without me… which ones? Did I miss anything? :)
BTW, nice post.
Watched two movies without me… which ones? Did I miss anything? :)
Aaah! Should have mentioned them by name….Rain Man and Road to Perdition.
The fees part of it…allow me to quote something oft heard –
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave….
Orcish laughter follows.
How do you top a perfect Monday?
Ans: Bunk office on Tuesday. Stay and read comics. Discover midway that the headache that started off as a mild annoyance has taken on epic proportions….chill out and spend the rest of the day in bed.
FULL MARKS. You have passed with distinction ;)