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Nunc Un-Fortunatus Sum

So I went to Lucknow for the weekend, to conduct the Maestro General Quiz for IIM Lucknow’s Manfest. My journey to and from Lucknow was courtesy Sahara Airlines – and, well, it was fun.

For starters, I thought I was supposed to go on Saturday, and on Friday evening, I discover that the tickets that had come through the post had “16th January” written on them. Oh yes, me being me, I had not bothered to check for times and dates and such minor details – the quiz was on Sunday, so I assumed that the flight would be on Saturday. Panic button! A hasty trip to the Airport, and a couple of glib explanations later ( “ummm, I got the tickets by mail just this afternoon, after the flight had left!” ) the tickets were rescheduled to Saturday, with a six hour stopover in Delhi.

The morning flight on Saturday was delayed by a couple of minutes, and the evening flight by THREE hours – so it was ten thirty by the time I made it to Lucknow. The Indian Ocean concert was supposed to begin at 9:30 at IIM, so the guys there had told me to take a prepaid cab to the campus, and that they would foot the bill. No problemo – that was exactly what I did, and an eager taxi-wallah at the gate led the way to his car – a stately Ambassador that had seen better days. I love Ambassadors. I don’t bump my head on the car ceiling and I can be very generous about spreading my legs inside and I can pretend to be a Chief of State or something, and look down at the puny vehicles on the road. Ambassadors are, diplomatically speaking, Kings of the Road.

I should have been forewarned when, after opening the door for me ( “Waah”, I thought. “True Lucknavi politeness.”), and getting behind the wheel, the driver began a complicated process of jiggling some red wires and some green wires together. The car finally started, accompanied by some magnificent stutters and gasps, and we were off.

Let’s examine the state of things again, shall we? Unknown city, Late night, slight nip in the air – much chillier than Hyderabad, me inside a stately vehicle, looking outside and discerning very little activity, obviously Lucnow sleeps early – an occasional truck passing by, and a taxi or two. I have my newly-bought handycam with me, clutched in my lap, an airbag at my side, with thoughts of attending the Indian Ocean concert and making bootleg videos occasionally passing through my mind – and the thought of the Quiz-to-come, and slightly paranoid notes to myself – “did I remember to bring all the questions?” “Where have I left the audio-questions cd?” “Ooh, I hope the place has warm water.”

And suddenly there is a screech – and a crash, and the sound of a lot of things breaking at the same time – all three of the sounds emanating from the fact that the guy had somehow managed to ram the car into a HUGE truck!!!

What followed was slightly surreal. I was thrown against the driver’s seat, and thanks to the well-padded nature of the Ambassador, was spared any physical injury. Ditto the Handycam. ( I confess to thinking more about the cam than my limbs, which is another proof of how materialistic my priorities are ) My bag kinda flew off the seat, and ( i think ) hit the driver. The windshield developed some spidery cracks, and at first glimpse, I thought it was broken, because all I could see was white, and then I realised it was just the front of the car which had opened up and lay splayed against the windshield. The clatter I heard was various parts of the car falling to the road. And all at the same time, I am telling myself “OhmyGodiwillmisstheconcertOhmygodiwillmisstheconcert” over and over again.

The driver’s reaction was profound. A normal man would have screamed and cursed; he just mutters to himself, and rushes out of the car and jumps around trying to pick up all the pieces that have fallen off. Then he tries opening the door to his seat, presumably to drive the car to the side of the road, and the door refuses to open. I keep my bags aside and try to open his door, and the damned thing refuses to budge. Then he comes over to the backseat, and opens my door, and very politely says – “Very sorry sir. Looks like the car won’t move.” I tell you, his self-control amazed me.

And then, another taxi comes up by and by, and this guy tells the other guy to drop me off to the Institute. I refuse to keep my bags in the back of the car ( it already has two people inside, and their bags inside ) and we proceed to the Taj, where the original passengers were going. As the car moves along the highway, we repeatedly hear some weird clanking sound, and the driver assures us it’s just the engine working up because of the cold. Then midway, a car passes by with the passengers yelling something at us, and our driver suddenly stops the car, jumps out, and runs to shut the dicky, which was open all the while.

Lucknow, my friends, is a happening place. I kid you not.

Finally made it to the campus at about midnight, and as the guys there showed me my room, I could hear Ma Rewa being sung by the band, which was a sign that the concert was about to end. No Indian Ocean for me that day. Wasn’t it lucky that I already met them the last week, and talked to them and gave them chocolates and got autographs to my heart’s content?

Now that’s another story.

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38 thoughts on “Nunc Un-Fortunatus Sum”

    • Dude, you can get Kandisa at Planet M, B’lore, or any Music World outlet. Jhini is their latest album, but I recommend Kandisa for starters.

      The Kandisa cd is worth 360 rs, and Jhini ( comes with a free vcd) is 300. Worth every rupee.

      Reply

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