…whaddya know – it worked!!! At least the CD gets ripped on a Windows ’98 system.

I seem to be cashing in on the popularity of a celebrity. My apologies to Mr. John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, Mr Peter Jackson and Mr Andrew Serkis. We lovess you all, preciouss, and we are sorry for doing this. Just one of those days, you know.

Blasphemous.

Nun: You don’t believe in God because of Alice in Wonderland?

Loki: No, “Through the Looking Glass”. That poem, “The Walrus and the Carpenter” that’s an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or… or with his tusk, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter’s son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do… what do they do? They… They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don’t know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensure the destruction of one’s inner-being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions… by inhibiting our decisions, out of… out of fear of some… some intangible parent figure who… who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says… and says, “Do it–Do it and I’ll fuckin’ spank you.”

Vulgar.

Bethany: Then – I don’t mean to sound ungrateful – but what are you doing hanging around?
Jay: We’re here to pick up chicks.
Bethany: Excuse me?
Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck?

Pretty Nice at Times.

Bartleby: The humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don’t even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He’s shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you… once to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. WHERE WAS HIS INFINITE FUCKING PATIENCE THEN? IT’S NOT RIGHT, IT’S NOT FAIR. We’ve paid our debt. Don’t you think it’s time? Don’t you think its time we went home? and to do that, I think we have to dispatch of our would-be dispatchers.

Satirical.

Serendipity: I’m responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
Bethany: Nineteen?
Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.

Wikkid!

Gun Salesman: We call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on.
Loki: Well, it’s a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it’s not nearly as impressive. Just doesn’t have that wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this…
Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don’t use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like.
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gamorreh, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there’s a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I’m sure.
Loki: Hey you know Fuck you man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass Genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.

Dogma. A Kevin Smith movie. Ahahahahaha.