USB slots are capricious, fun-loving creatures. They love a good practical joke, and probably have entertaining stories to tell each other, especially with the volume of data that passes through them every day. I am convinced that one of their favorite pranks is to randomly reorient themselves whenever they feel like it. This seems to be the only conclusion that explains why I am never able to plug a USB cable in at the first try. The first attempt meets with resistance, and leaves me confused whether I aligned the cable the right way. I turn the cable over to the other side and push again. That does not work either. Then I sigh, and bend over to see what exactly is going on. By that time, the USB slot has had its fun, and as it turns out, the cable now goes in smoothly.
I’ve found out that I spend about 40 seconds every morning untangling my earphones. This despite the fact that every evening – every single evening, I kid you not – after I get home, I take the little buggers, gently roll the wires and let them retire for the night. But all to no avail, because the next morning, they are back in disarray, like someone tousled them in the middle of the night. I would suspect the USB slots have been talking to them, but then I don’t think they speak the same language.
I figure that this untangling process costs me the time equivalent to about two songs every week. That is most alarming, but to compensate, I make sure that I listen to a few extra songs every evening. All in all, I am about three songs ahead by the time Friday evening comes around.
Last week, our office administrators announced, as part of a go-green drive, that we would no longer use paper cups and plates and disposable cutlery in the kitchen. Which was great news, because I always felt guilty about using a paper cup to drink some water and then having to throw it away. Sometimes I got some coffee in the same cup just to relieve a bit of the guilt, but I always felt that the coffee tasted weaker because of the little water that remained at the bottom. This also meant that I made myself a coffee every time I drank some water.
Things are looking better now, because we use the china cups in the office. Except the quantity of the cappuccino that the vending machine serves is slightly more than the size of an office cup. Which means that the coffee overflows, unless you pay close attention and whisk the cup out just before the tipping point is reached. Two problems with that: you should pay close attention to know the exact moment to pull it out, and the coffee overflows into the bin below anyway. Social responsibility dictates that you wipe the spilled remains, which means more valuable time lost. So instead of downsizing my cup of cappuccino, I have opted to switch to espresso instead. Two shots of espresso fits the cup perfectly.
You may wonder why I don’t just buy myself a large enough coffee mug, but the one that I want to buy is currently out of stock at ThinkGeek.
Goddammit, I don’t even like espresso.