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A Day Of Debauchery

Last Wednesday, as I began my day in the office with a customary cup of hot lemon tea in the pantry, my phone rang. I was a little grouchy at that time, and the Bangalore number did not sound familiar, so when the voice at the other end said a cheerful “Hi! How you doing?”, I growled “Who is this?” with that edge in my voice reserved for telemarketeers and credit card companies. The mean-I-am-the-Goddamn-Beatzo tone of voice. A minute later, I was regretting the tone, I could have mumbled shameful monosyllables of apology the whole day long.

The person calling me up had just said “There is a shipment of a thousand new comics that have come in, should I hold them for you?”

Bangalore. Weekend. Plans had not been made, but if you had asked me that morning to describe the weekend that was coming up, I would have sighed contentedly and talked about catching up on sleep and horror anthologies and DVDs and Tom-Yum-Goong ( Yes, YES, the latest Tony Jaa-Prachya Pinkaew movie has been released in Hyderabad, yeehaw!), the kind of lazed two-day reprieve one looks forward to with half-closed eyes and a contemplative smile. One phone call had thrown my plans out of the window – how much more Motorola-ad-ish could my life get? After wildly considering booking flight tickets ( I had to slap myself a couple of times to come out of this corporate “flights-will-save-time” mood), made some phone calls and found out that there were not one, not two, but three quizzes happening on Sunday. Ok, technically two quizzes, because I wasn’t allowed to participate in the Metaquizziks Anniversary quiz, bah! So, Wednesday evening, I had return tickets from Sharma Travels, the folks who have gotten so used to selling me Bangalore tickets that they waive the twenty rupees service charge for the return journey. Regular customer, baby, regular customer.

Two days passed by in a flash.

On Saturday morning, I was in Bangalore, doing the same things I do whenever I reach the city on Saturday mornings. Checklist: coffee at a hotel on Anand Rao Circle whose name I can never remember, walk down Racecourse Road until I spy an auto with a digital meter, go to Anil Kumble circle, walk to my old office, brush and freshen up, walk to India Coffee House, have a scrambled eggs on toast and a coffee, walk to Bookworm right next door, say hi to the folks there, pick up books I had reserved the last time, reserve books that I will in all likelihood pick up the next trip, walk down Church Street to Magazines, then go to Planet M, and then to the Brigade Road outlet of Bookworm – oh, hold on, I got carried away, this was not about the daily routine, this was about what happened this Saturday.

So after India Coffee House, I went to Bookworm and picked up two books that I had reserved, an Iain M Banks Against A Dark Background, and Cliff McNish’s The Doomspell Trilogy. Walked over to Magazines, where the comics were supposed to have arrived. It was exactly 10:01 AM by my watch. I had told Amjad that I would be there at 10 Am on Saturday. I won, wheeeee!

The shop was closed.

Frustration. Impatience. Much growling of inner beast. Walked to Planet M, which was supposed to open at 11, it seems. Double Grr. Walked back to Magazines, just in time to see them opening the shop – the first magazine I saw when the shop opened was an issue of Art in America, with the cover story being “Female artists in comics”. What an omen. The price was 249 Rs, and I hastily put it back. Then, of course, he got the comics out. One basket. Two baskets. Three. By the time the fourth was out, I was gibbering and flapping around in a pool of saliva. Watchmen issues. Complete Greg Rucka runs on Wonder Woman. Batman# 407, the last Year One issue. Long Geoff Johns runs on Flash and Willingham runs on Robin. Most of Batman: War Games. ( I didn’t like that so much when I read it, but it’s always fun to own new Batman issues). I remembered to call up a friend about the loot. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey, how soon can you come to Magazines?
Him: Will take me about an hour and a half.
Me: What if I tell you that Watchmen issues are available at Magazines right now?
Him: ( scary sounds on the other end of the phone) I am coming. Be right there. Bye. *click*

So he came, after I had completed my first pass at the lot, and after the speechlessness and the obligatory swoon, he proceeded to create his own pile ( of comics, I mean, not saliva ). The interiors of Magazines appeared rather bright that day, because there were beaming faces all around. We sat and made a third pass after a coffee break, and by the time the billing was complete, it was three o’clock and the pile of 1000 was short by about 300. A quick trip to Bookworm, where we deposited our bags, then to the nearby momo joint for a late, late lunch. The plan was to go to National Market and check up on fresh stock. As we walked out, I remembered that autos are not allowed into MG Road between 2 and 7, so we walked down Church Street again. Hit Blossom or not hit Blossom? Ok, hit Blossom. Walk up to the comics section, and find a pile of 80’s stuff which my friend pounces on. I saunter over to the other side of the rack, and take out a couple of Amar Chitra Kathas. Hey, these are in pretty good condition. No reprints and no staples, either, and no binding holes on the edges. And, gulp, they seem to be in order, too.

An hour later, we are at the billing counter, I am holding 101 ACK copies, my friend about 60, and assorted DC issues, and both of us are about to do the tandava right then and there, yo.

National Market gave me the first seasons of Rome and The X-Files, three seasons of The Family Guy, Eli Roth’s Hostel ( am pretty sure it’s not a release version of the DVD, but I want to see it! Will buy the release version later.), and The Blair Witch Project. Came back to Bookworm, I had fought with my conscience enough to pick up this book called Warner Bros Animation Art, which featured not just the history of Warner Bros animation, but also a list of the limited edition cel prints released by Warner Bros. The sight of those signed and numbered historical artifacts make me tear up, I tell you.

The Day of Debauchery ended, like all other Saturdays at Bangalore, with a dinner at Mei Ying. But not before we ran up to this new second-hand bookshop that had opened next door, and taken a look at their collection, and added a couple more Amar Chitra Kathas and Batmans to our pile. What. A. Day.

And to think I still haven’t seen Tom-Yum-Goong on the screen. But that shall be remedied in a couple of hours, heh heh.

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Da-da-da-day!

My day is sometimes defined by the music I begin it with. Today morning, I woke up at eight, desperately wanting to listen to the Swades soundtrack. I had a call to attend at nine AM, and so I had to hurry, but it was too tempting – the computer was on, and the CD was just a mini-search away. It took ten minutes for me to brush because I didn’t want to brush too loudly and drown out the sounds of ‘Yeh Tara’ playing in the other room. Then I spent 20 minutes taking a bath, because the running water would make a lot of noise just when there was an interesting bit of ‘Saanwariya’ playing and I would run out and play it again from the beginning, dripping soapy water all the way. Which is perfectly ok, because the comp is right next to the bathroom. When I got out of the bath, I spent five minutes sitting down and re-listening to ‘Saanwariya’. Then I put ‘Yunhi Chalaa Chal’ on, and put on my clothes while simultaneously wiggling my body, the kind of wiggle that would undoubtedly make strong-hearted men not-so-strong-hearted if they saw me at that point.

In case you haven’t got the drift yet, I was late for the call. There was insane traffic, at a time when there is no traffic at all ( the jams begin at around 9:30-10). One of the lifts was malfunctioning, the one that was working stopped at every floor as it came down and – once I boarded it – also stopped at every floor while going up. And then as I was running to the conference room, someone calls out, “hey, dude, X mailed, the call’s been postponed to ten.”

Like I said….

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Welcome to the Twilight Zone.

My Finnish friend once told me of his friend who, while perusing through his local bookstore, decided to buy a copy of The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck by Don Rosa. (Apparently, Donald Duck is a much-beloved character in Finland, where he is called Aku Ankka and as a matter of tradition, is one of the nominees for President everytime there is an election. ) Right, so the guy takes the book home and opens it, and inside there is a line saying something like “Thank you for buying this book. Hope you enjoy it, – Don Rosa.” And it turns out that Don Rosa was indeed in Finland sometime back, and had visited that bookshop – apparently he had signed random copies of The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck and put them back on the shelves.

Something like that happened to me recently. Stop groaning, you pack of lily-livered…um…groaners, and listen. I did the Abids Sunday book crawl this weekend, after a very, very, very ( those three “very”s were necessary, just in case you didn’t get the emphasis. Feel free to add another “very” somewhere) long time, nearly a year and a half, to be precise. Popped into MR, found a load of comic-books, and overshot the 500 Rs personal limit I had set for myself within about three minutes. Among the good ones, Swamp Thing# 37, the issue in which John Constantine makes his debut in the DC Universe. ( One thing I have to thank eBay for, because had I already not owned a perfect copy of this, I would have probably begun frothing at the mouth and collapsed right there.), a news-stand copy of Batman: Mad Love ( you might want to do some research and figure out what’s so special about that comic), lots of Blue Devil issues, including the hard-to-find Crisis crossovers, loads of Firestorm, duly picked up for a friend who’s OD-ing on eighties comics now, a complete run of Justice Society of America from 1991, an eight issue miniseries, and a couple of Indies, like Myth Adventures by Phil Foglio, couple of Sherlock Holmes adaptations by Dan Day ( whose moody artwork remains very high on my to-buy radar). All for 10 rupees each. At the stalls, found a bunch of issues of The Armchair Detective, a magazine for mystery ficiton-lovers, for twenty rupees each.

Followed this up by a visit to the Abids outlet of Best Book Stall, where there were quite a few good James Ellroys, two Iain M Banks ( I haven’t read Banks yet, so I figured that if I get his first novel for 50 Rs, I better buy it, and start reading) and some anthologies. Ahmed-sir was not around, and while I went to pick up some cash from the nearby ATM, had a solid lunch at Taj Mahal hotel ( not to confused with the Taj Group, this one is almost a heritage site in Hyderabad. The masala dosas there are to die for!), one of the places I would frequent at least once a week two years ago. When I got back to Best, I was contented beyond belief, and therefore, shruggeing off that state of complacency that eBay has brought me to, i waded into the piles at the back of the shop. It had been quite sometime since I had done this at Best, or any other place, really. Nowadays, the thrill of physically searching for a book has come down immensely – either I have become lazy beyond belief, or there is this sixth sensy thing that tells me “no goodies to be found in this pile, precious”. Or maybe I have started taking the Second Law too seriously.

Some dedicated scrounging turned up a first edition of Bertrand Russell’s History of Philosophy, with dust jacket. Also found a pile of old Indrajals, and on a whim, bought all the Buz Sawyers I could find. Which reminds me, let me tell you a small secret about Indrajal comics – they always had house artists redraw the original material, so if you have read Phantom and Mandrake and Flash Gordon and everything else published by Indrajal, you might still have not seen any of Lee Falk’s art, or Phil Davis’s or Alex Raymond’s. Which is why Indrajal now looks ugly to me. Especially the covers, most of which were drawn by this guy called Saaheb ( or was it Shehab? Ah, old age and all that.)

But believe me, it’s very hard, even for an artist who’s redrawing stuff, to detroy Roy Crane’s artwork, and more importantly, the stories that Roy Crane wrote in Buz Sawyer. There was a Sawyer story involving his brother Lucky, about the series of events that happen when Lucky is out of a job, and his relationship with his wife and son, which, had I been a little older, would have made me cry, perhaps. I was too young, so it just made me feel a little weird, and I flipped ahead to read the next Phantom story in that set. I reread it quite a few times after that, and always felt very calmed-down after every read. I have since remembered that story with a great deal of fondness, and I think I should try to scan that issue for you folks sometime.

As I was completing my shopping at Best, the guy there suddenly remembered that he had a couple of books that Ahmed-sir had kept aside for me. These turned out to be The Dark Knight Returns ( I am beginning to lose count of how many times I have bought this comic. ), and a copy of Sandman: Season of Mists. Also a very strange graphic novel called The Golden Vine, which appeared to be a rather poorly coloured manga written by a guy from Hyderabad. The name “Jai Sen” didn’t ring a bell for me, and later when I googled for information on the guy, I was dumbfounded! He was nominated for an Eisner!! Here’s an interview with him, in which he talks about his life and influences.

Anyways, I didn’t buy these three books because i was out of money, so they are going to hold them for me until I go there next.

So I came back home, and did a massive Lord of The Rings Extended Edition Marathon, with the concluding part of The Two Towers, which I had begun the previous day, and slept off because I was too tired, and Return of the King. Late at night, I got the stuff I had bought during the day and began to read (and re-read) them one by one.

And when I opened the copy of Myth Adventures, there was this beautiful writing in golden ink that just said “Best – Phil Foglio”. Which got me rather open-mouthed and trembly for about two minutes, before I ran into Rishi’s room, went to eBay and checked for Phil Foglio’s autograph. Which, sure enough, matched the writing on my comic book.

It’s times like these that I feel I am twisting reality around me. Maybe I am flattering myself a little too much, but seriously. A SIGNED COMIC? IN A SECOND-HAND BOOKSTORE IN INDIA? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

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I seem to be humming the song Aadat, the version by Jal quite often. Especially when I am in the office. I don’t know the words but the tune is comforting, in a way. It takes you places.

Have you heard the original version of the song Brazil? I had always assumed it was a Vengaboys tune, until I heard the Kate Bush vocal version, with arrangements by Michael Kamen, from the Terry Gilliam movie. And then Chandru gave me the Xavier Cugat version, which seems to be one of the most “local” versions, the one that sticks very closely to traditional orchestration of this patriotic song. Then today, I was listening to Joabim’s Stone Flower album (courtesy Chandru, again, he had given me the other two Joabim albums, Wave and Tide – and a couple of Eumir Deodato albums last week), and it has a 9 minute version of the song, with a Jazzy feel that throws all other versions in the dust. Now that song is playing continuously as I type this. Blissful!

A trip to MR last week gave me extremely strange things – the first three issues of Transmetropolitan, a couple of manga issues by Rumiko Takahashi, couple of issues of Concrete, some Simpsons trades, the last four issues of Animal Man AND – three books by Nick Hornby. High Fidelity, yes, yes, YES – I had read this on a train journey to Kanpur last year, thanks to Samrat, and had been lusting to buy it ever since, About a Boy – which I own already, and have read, and was not really impressed by – bought this because a friend wanted it, and How To be Good – one that I’ve to read, and soon. Also picked up a Philip Jose Farmer two-in-one novel, Lord of the Trees and The Mad Goblin, which made me really happy ‘cos I had been looking for these ever since reading A Feast Unknown. All these books are a pulp fiction fan’s dream-come-true, they detail the real memoirs of an English nobleman named Lord Grandrith, a man who was raised by apes, and who has been given the gift of immortality by a shadowy group called The Nine, along with his half-brother, a man called Doc Caliban, who was raised as an embodiment of physical and mental excellence. In case you haven’t realised already, these are Farmer’s tributes to Tarzan and Doc Savage, respectively, and the gusto with which he narrates these adventures – making fun of the pulp traditions of Burroughs and Dent and yet, accounting for them, deconstructing them flawlessly – is awesome. Picked up the novels for fifty rupees each.

I read Shantaram – which began to get tiresome somewhere in the middle – I somehow could not relate to Gregory Roberts talking about love and the wonder that is India and how much Indians love one another and how much we sing and dance and how resilient Indians are. They made sense the first time he says them, the second time and even the third time, but by the time we are at the eleventy-ninth such comment , I have given up. Weird coincidence of the month: About to board a Spicejet flight to Delhi at 2 AM in the morning, I find myself unable to sleep while waiting in the heat of the airport lounge ( is that what they call it here? Somehow the word lounge seems rather inappropriate when there isn’t any Buddha Bar music playing in the background) and began reading Shantaram. After a while I look around, standard practice while reading a book, resting my eyes and all, and with a shock, realise that the Punjabi fellow in front of me is reading Shantaram, the lady two rows away is engrossed in Shantaram! And as we make our way towards the security gate, I find out that in all, there are four people in the airport, about to board the same flight, reading Shantaram.

For a second, I wondered if I was fast asleep and dreaming and ergo, about to miss the plane, which put me in a fine panic, lemme tell you. I even walked around and discreetly pinched myself, just to get rid of the feeling.

But yeah , the book grabs you right from the beginning. And there isn’t any amount of screaming your brain does that can stop you from plunging ahead. I landed at Delhi sometime around four AM, at page two hundred and fifty. The flight to Kanpur was three hours away, and after much self-debate, decided to plop off to sleep at the airport, instead of continuing with the book.

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