Part two of a vanity post to end all vanity posts. Part one here.

52. It’s very, very, very hard for me to stand still. I constantly shift from one foot to the other, if I am made to stand in one place. It’s worst when I am on a phone call and saunter around from one room to another, like an unstoppable clockwork soldier.

53. I suffer from ophiophobia. It began sometime in my early teens, got so bad that I could not open a book with pictures of snakes in it without feeling completely petrified. It’s come down in recent times, ( I would think it lessened because of the ridiculous Anaconda movies, which I watched without much effect) but I hate to think how I would react if I was on a flight and there were snakes on the plane.

54. I am also terrified when I am driving/riding behind a truck carrying iron bars that’re jutting out. Pretty common on Indian roads.

55. My weight fluctuated between 55-60 kilos until two years ago. I weigh about 80-85 kilos now.

56. For a long time, if I managed to obtain a book that I wanted to read really badly, I would think up ways to postpone reading it. Because if I finished it, there would be nothing else to read. It’s an irritating habit that persists even now, and it’s a constant struggle to convince myself that it’s ok – I can go ahead and indulge becaause there’s a shitload of stuff waiting to be read.

57. I am both a cat-person and a dog-person, with slightly more sympathy for cats because they are so misunderstood. We had two cats named Lobo and Simba, the first out of necessity, because our house was being overrun by mice, and the second one because we had no choice, Lobo just brought a kitten home one day and none of us had the heart to let it go.

58. The only time I’ve been vegetarian was for a whole year, when a rabid dog bit me and various herbal experts ( quack quack) advised my parents that I should not eat meat. It was a tough year, made a little better when three months later, the neighbour’s dog bit my sister and everyone in the family stopped eating meat.

59. When learning geography in high school, my brain refused to understand the concept of latitudes and longitudes until a friend made things clearer using a roundish potato and a knife.

60. I whistle somewhat differently from the normal way most of you do. Most of the time, you wouldn’t realize I was whistling because I don’t pucker my lips. Also, my whistle-pitch is somewhat different, which makes it impossible for me to whistle along with someone else.

61. In order to make myself look cooler, I started to memorize weird acronyms and abbreviations – KGB for Komitet Gozudarstevenonny Bezopasnosti, PT Usha’s full name, all the latin acronyms like NB and i.e. While this did come in handy in quizzes later on, I don’t think it fulfilled its original intent.

62. I created my first comic character when I was 9, a flying man named The Eagle.

63. I don’t like circuses. It’s all because of Target magazine, which did in-depth coverage of the cruel treatment meted out to animals in travelling circuses around India, and appealed to kids to boycott them.

64. I can’t dance, saala. Though lord knows I tried, especially at the height of Muqabla fever in the nineties. I could pelvis thrust continents into oblivion, but my hands and feet refused to move the way my brain told them to.

65. A rickshaw-puller bears witness to the first time I kissed someone. And that’s all I will say about that, other than clarifying that I was not kissing the rickshaw puller.

66. One thing I genuinely envy in some of my friends is their ability to quote verbatim from prose/poetry pieces. I can not, under any circumstances, repeat sentences word-for-word. This is partly the reason why I suck at cracking jokes – more often than not, I flub the punchline.

67. The Matrix and Kill Bill are two films that changed my movie and music tastes radically. A lot of interests – Japanese culture, anime, Ennio Morricone, noise-rock, Italian spaghetti westerns, Kung-fu/jidai-geki/wuxia films, electronic music – was sparked in some way or the other by these films.

68. The first film I remember seeing was ‘Andha Kanoon’ – I believe I was asleep in my mother’s lap in the theatre and I woke up when some lady was running around dressed in a police uniform. ( It was Hema Malini, and I like to believe the image resonated with me because I’d seen my father wearing the familiar khaki outfit. )

69. The one thing I shoplifted was an Edgar Rice Burroughs Tarzan novel that the bookstore was selling for 50 Rs, even though the official price at that time was 10 Rs, the difference arising because the former was an imported edition and the latter was an Indian reprint. I spent one summer blackmailed by a classmate at school with whom I had shared my secret, and who threatened to tell the teachers if I did not do his homework for him. ( Happy ending: he flunked that year, and changed schools. )

70. I have library-lifted once, and I am terribly ashamed about it, so let’s not bring it up again, yeah?

71. I don’t like rain. I am ambivalent towards summer. Winter is my favourite season. You get oranges in winter, that’s why.

72. When I am in pain, like if I stub my toe or run into a door, I say “aaargh” in my head. Not “aaa”, not “ooooooo” but “aaargh”. The only thing that differs is the number of a’s.

73. When my voice broke, I was really worried that I wouldn’t be able to sing along to Michael Jackson and Bryan Adams songs.

74. I tend to lose my temper far more often than I should, and at very frivolous things. Yes, I am unacquainted with what you earthlings call a “chill pill”.

75. One person I would like to meet before I die: Alan Moore. Another person I would like to meet before I die: Hayao Miyazaki. The first is vaguely possible, the second is unlikely.

76. On one particular occasion, I have sneezed 41 times non-stop.

77. The worst thing you can ask me to do is list out my favourites in any field. My answers will probably different depending on when you ask me.

78. I rarely contradict myself.

79. Actually I contradict myself all the time. Most of the time. Sometimes.

80. My favourite quizzing achievement was winning the Lone Wolf Quiz at IIT Madras, way back in 2001. It was my third time at Saarang and I made it to the finals almost by fluke, in a tightly-fought semi-final round.

81. There was a time I considered buying clothes an unnecessary evil, and relied exclusively on gifts from distant relatives, parents and the occasional gift coupon won at quizzes to buy my clothes. I like to believe I’ve evolved a bit since then.

82. I spent years trying to design the perfect cardboard boomerang. One that would actually return to my hands once I threw it, instead of falling into a sewer or getting lodged in a tree or landing on the roof of the house.

83. Personally, I think panipuri is the greatest thing Indian civilization has offered to the world.

84. For a long time, I was confused between a protractor and a divider in my geometry box.

85. I have broken a door and a shelf ( which is referred to in my part of the country as a “show-case” ) trying to skateboard inside the house. The skateboard, of course, was self-built, using a piece of wood and three ball-bearings. It made an ungodly sound if I tried it on the road and I thought it more prudent to hone my expertise away from curious eyes.

86. I can play complicated rhythms on wooden surfaces, using my fingers. Many of you might scoff and say there’s nothing to it, but I am really good at it, honest. I try out the acoustics of any new wooden surface I encounter by tapping out a beat.

87. Among the things I’ve written and will never share with anyone else – a prequel to Sholay, an epic retelling of a failed love story in my college days, and a porno version of a part of the Mahabharata. In fact, I think two of them might be irretrievable – I burnt one of them in a folder in a game collection, and there was a virus on one of the games and I threw the disc away, and the other is in a protected zip file, and I’ve forgotten the password.

88. The first website I visited in my life was www.spawn.com. Ah, the follies of youth.

89. I used to be really terrified of chronic insomnia. Yes, because of the Stephen King book. So I made it a point to get my share of daily sleep regardless of where I was and what I was doing. I made it through my college life without a night-out – I would inevitably fall asleep around three thirty in the morning. Then I worked in a project where the rest of the team members worked from the USA and I found it more convenient working throughout the night. For six months, I would work from five in the evening to six in the morning, and then have breakfast at seven and sleep till three. It was an amazing experience, and needless to say, I no longer have my fear of insomnia.

90. Because I’ve never bought a house or a car, I have never had to pay EMIs. But I have made monthly payments for comic art, though; the longest period of time has been 2 years of straight instalments. It gets over this month.

91. I can sing in languages that I do not know. Tamil, for example. Also, Spanish, Finnish and Japanese. I can also sing Mile Sur Mera Tumhara by heart, and it has 14 languages in it.

92. I have a very very irritating laugh. It has provoked people to violence more than once, and over the years, I’ve learnt to modulate it enough, I think.

93. I cannot bring myself to watch television for more than a few minutes at a time. Ad breaks kill my interest in anything that I am trying to watch. The TV shows I like, I would rather watch on DVD, one seasonful at a time.

94. One near-death experience I’ve had – a narrow hilly road, a downhill slope, a truck hurtling down the road, and I decide to run across to be with my father, who was getting some tea and biscuits for us in a small shop on the other side. It was when we were moving from Karimganj to Tezpur, I was 6, and I still remember my mother screaming at me not to run, and my father slapping me really hard after I survived the dash.

95. My general attitude towards new technology – any new technology –  is analogous to that of a kid about to dip into a swimming pool at five AM on a winter morning. 

96. I have this earnest, I-am-listening-to-you look on my face during meetings, lectures and presentations, which I punctuate with occasional nods and smiles. Maybe it is because I feel very nervous while speaking in public, and become very gratified when someone is paying attention. The downside of this habit is that the presenter tends to look at me very pointedly throughout the bulk of the talk/lecture, which means I need to pay attention throughout. I am still not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

97. The first time I boarded a plane in my life was with my own hard-earned money. In 2002, when I made my first trip back home after getting a job.

98. One of the things I would like to do is organize India’s first comic-book convention. But I think I am too lazy to do anything about it, and someone else will probably beat me to it. 

99. I am very, very, very hesitant to catch up with old friends who I haven’t met in a long time. It could be because I have a golden-haloed view of the past, and that makes me whitewash my memories of friends and acquaintances. It could also be because, after having met a few folks from my past, I realized that ‘real life’ had made them very different from what I envisaged them to be ( they thought the same thing about me, probably), resulting in banal conversations and a half-hearted attempt to exchange phone numbers. 

100. Meta Fact: I loved making this list, even though it took me a very very long time to write it. This shows that like nearly everyone else, I love talking about myself. It also tells me how much of myself I am willing to talk about on a public page – obviously, I deleted and redid a lot of  stuff just because I thought it would be giving too much of me away. Yep, I guess I like the illusion of being a private person. Whatever.

1. I was born in a small town known for a matchbox factory. We moved out a year later, and I have visited the place just once later in my life.

2. I know how to speak, read and write four languages, and can understand and read one more.

3. My earliest coherent memory is walking with my father to the hospital one morning, to see my newborn sister for the first time.

4. The first time I fell in love was with two girls at the same time. They were twins. We would go to pre-school together, and I would occasionally confuse one for the other.

5. My earliest concern about the English language was trying to understand the difference between the words “agree” and “angry”.

6. I used to draw a lot when I was little. Even went to “art school”, which was a euphemism for a shed where a lot of children were made to copy whatever the teacher drew on the blackboard and then colour them in. Won a few art competitions, but never really did anything much about it.

7. On my sixth birthday, my father gave me a coffee-table book. “Indira Gandhi” by Swraj Paul. I have no idea why.

8. I used to be bored very easily until I came to college. Then I figured out that I could hear complete albums in my mind during boring classes, meetings or dinners – music interludes and all.

9. I am a bad conversationalist. I zone out in the middle of conversations when there are too many people around, and tune back in when someone says something that’s of interest to me. Most of my one-on-one conversations tend either devolve into pop culture discussions, or become one-way talk-fests where I am nodding my head, grunting and thinking of something completely unrelated to what the other person is talking about.

10. I occasionally flex my wrists when I am alone. In my mind, I go “snikt” as razor-sharp adamantium claws pop out of my skin.

11. With a few exceptions, my relatives and I don’t get along too well. I find most of them a bunch of two-faced weirdos and they think I am weird.

12. I made up a new game when in school. It consisted of two teams throwing mud balls at each other, but your team won only if you did not hit anyone in the other team and instead, made your mud ball explode near your opponents. I thought it was a cool game, until somebody figured out that it was cooler when they exploded on your body.

13. One of the biggest joys of my childhood was reading Enid Blyton’s books. It took me a long while to figure out that Enid Blyton is a lady, and her name is Enid and not Gnid as I had assumed from her distinctive signature. My favourite Blyton series was the Magic Faraway Tree books, about a magical tree on the top of which you could visit different, wonderful worlds that parked themselves for short periods of time. Then I grew up and found out that we have a magic faraway tree of our own, called the Internet.

14. I make it a point to not break eggs on the larger or smaller end, but hit it squarely on the middle. Not only does it make peeling the eggshell easier, but it also gives me great pleasure to know that I cannot be executed for treason either in Lilliput or Blefuscu.

15. Occasionally, when I am watching a movie or reading a book, I want the villain to win.

16. I am fanatical about having zero unread messages in my email inbox.

17. Around 1990 or thereabouts, I read a book on international spies and found out that every single one of them had their identities compromised because of photographs taken during their high school and college days. For the next three years, I refused to let myself be photographed. I would go out of the way to avoid family pictures and also tracked down my photographs in relatives’ albums. All because, y’know, just in case I was drafted as a spy later on in life.

18. I refuse to read certain books or watch certain movies or listen to particular bands because some people are too enthusiastic about them. Case in point: The Fountainhead. Pink Floyd.

19. I am bad at debates. I tend to see both sides of an argument, and can come up with pro or counter-arguments that are equally convincing.

20. Religious rituals piss me off. Mostly because they consist of people doing something without understanding or trying to figure out why they’re doing it.

21. I beat up a guy in school once because he was trying to snatch a comic away from me and wrinkled the cover when I wouldn’t let him take it. There was blood. And multiple screaming teachers.

22. I learnt to play the violin when I was little, mostly because of my parents and a violin-playing neighbour who impressed them a lot. Six years and two different violin gurus later, I stopped. Because of the Higher Secondary Certificate examinations which, in my part of the world, is a rite of passage equivalent to the Japanese Genpuku or the Jewish Bar Mitzvah. Later, I taught myself to play the keyboard by ear.

23. I rarely bother about lyrics when I am listening to a song. When humming a song I like, I tend to use a lot of gibberish, instead of the actual lyrics. I listen to the words only if somebody points them out to me and that could happen years after I’ve known the song.

24. Strangely, I learnt two songs – Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire and Vanilla Ice’s Ice Ice Baby – before I heard them. It was because I had an older friend who would sing these songs and I memorized the words from his diary.

25. It is not humanly possible to keep count of the number of umbrellas I’ve lost over the years.

26. I am very bad at buying gifts. When I buy a gift for someone, I get confused between buying something that’s meaningful and something the other person would want but I personally consider flippant. It’s a constant battle.

27. I collect original comic art, among other things. To the best of my knowledge, I am still the only person in India who spends gigantic portions of his salary buying (mostly) inked 11 inch by 17 inch bristol boards. Fuck, I love it.

28. I am a lapsed quizzer. It’s because I’ve lost faith in people who watch movies and read just so that they can come up with questions and answers for future quizzes.

29. I once hit a girl with my bicycle when I was coming back home one evening. It was her fault, honest, she ran to the middle of the road and then ran back again. That was possibly the only road accident I’ve been involved in.

30. I’ve worked in the engineering division for the same company for about seven years now, and I am still more than a little under-confident about my technical skills.

31. If I hadn’t gotten my first job, I would have probably been a struggling musician. I ignored academics in college in favour of the college band. Sang, played the keyboard and was generally full of it. Now, I consider myself a victim of real life – kind of like the Farhan Akhtar character in Rock On, only a little less sullen and with not as much money.

32. I loathe most sports. I used to play cricket in school, but one day, some guy hit my right shin with a leather ball and I wound up bed-ridden for a week. I still have a dent in my shin. My parents made me enroll in a table tennis class at the local stadium, and I used to go there in the evenings, after school, spend 10 minutes sitting on the spectator benches and then sneak out to the library opposite the road, which had an awesome collection of comics and James Hadley Chase novels.

33. I know how to swim, but people look funny at me when I am floundering around in the pool because I tend to splash a lot.

34. I don’t like social networks because there does not seem to be anything much to read. Or do. Other than seeing people change statuses and take quizzes and write badly-spelt messagesto each other.

35. A recurring dream I have is about my life as an undergraduate student. In my dream, there is an exam the next day and I have to prepare for it because I hadn’t appeared in the mid-sems, but something or the other keeps turning up and I just can’t seem to study. I don’t even remember what books/chapters I need to read and struggle to find my pen and admit card until the last minute. It would not be as scary if I hadn’t really been through such a situation in my undergrad life.

36. I’ve been an A.R Rahman fan ever since I heard Roja. I occasionally frustrate people by raving incessantly about his music, and there are times when I just cannot bring myself to listen to some Rahman albums because I know they’ll disappoint me.

37. All cars look the same to me. I can probably broadly distinguish between three kinds of cars, but I can never understand how people can point out the make and model of any car passing by.

38. I am more than a little obsessed with Japanese culture. It all started when I read Eric Van Lustbader’s The Ninja and Miyamoto Musashi’s Book of Five Rings back-to-back, and then discovered a manga called Mai The Psychic Girl.

39. When I was 13, I got my first and only enema. It was at an ayurvedic camp in a small village in Assam, and the quack that headed the camp prescribed an enema for every affliction that came his way. Having warm water and oiled stuffed up your anus when you’re standing on your hands, face-down in a wretched latrine tends to do things about your worldview, I tell you.

40. Until very recently, I suffered from a digital magpie complex – the urge to back-up every bit of digital information on multiple data repositories. I’ve created backups of backups, resulting in a house filled with CDs and DVDs. Now, I just don’t give a shit.

41. I tend to tease my friends mercilessly about things they like. I get very insecure when they tease me about things I am interested in.

42. The only time I’ve been happy in love is right now.

43. One bad habit I would like to give up – procrastinating. Another bad habit I want to give up – swearing when I am upset.

44. For a very long time, I considered eating food as something that interferes with my waking life. I could not sit for lunch, dinner or breakfast without doing something else – reading, watching TV, anything at all that would help make the tedious job of chewing my food a little better. Enjoying my food is something I learnt very late in life, maybe a year or two ago, just when I began to cook properly.

45. When I am in office, I like going for lunch alone. That one hour feels like an oasis of sanity during the day, the only time I exist for myself.

46. The only time I had a fracture was at the end of last year, when I missed a step and broke my leg. Luckily (or not) that was two days prior to my scheduled annual leave to visit my parents, and everything worked out. Except for the part where I spent my vacation cooped up in a room.

47. I consider myself a wannabe gamer. I’ve been hooked to computer games ever since I tried Quake 2 on my first PC in 1999. I currently own a DS and my girl has a PSP that I use far more than she does. I was primarily an FPS-lover but thanks to the DS, I am a fan of puzzle-based adventure games and classic side-scrollers. I don’t think I can ever, ever play RPGs and strategy games.

48. I can’t stand beer.  Surprise, apparently I can, as I found out after a trip to Romania, when a senior colleague asked me to take a sip of a local beer named Silva. I like beer now.

49. Quite a few of my close friends are folks I’ve met online. Some I’ve met in real life, and some, I probably will someday.

50. I am very particular about finishing a book or a series I’ve started, regardless of how good or bad it is. The only exception to that would be Ashok Banker’s Ayodhya series, which was so badly written it made me ill after I read the first 15 pages of the first book.

51. If I ever made it to the finals of Mastermind, my topics would be the Batman mythos, the music of AR Rahman and Indian songs in Aramaic. The third is obviously a topic heavily weighted in my favour.

Obviously, to be continued.